Again, Confuse, Feeling Grey ...

I feel weird this few days. Can't describe the feeling. Just, weird. HAHAHA...

Talked with kf last night. He told me : If you found out that you fall in love with that guy, go ahead la, scare what o? Chase your love is not an embarrassing thing what.

Yea, scare what? I don't know. I guess I just scare reject by people. 

He is a cool guy. Cool until I can feel a thing block in front of me and him when we talk. But when we started to know each other, hmmm, he is a caring guy. Yea, I won't forget the thing. It is just too sweet. Wanna know what is that? Shhh, secret!!! He is talkative sometimes but not as talkative like me. I am 3 8 po. HAHA....That's what my dear potato call me. But I know she likes to 8 with me <3 By the way, I miss you ah potato...Your dear fanshu very boring at Kampar. Aikss...Should follow you to go Ipoh. (you know what i mean? hiak hiak hiak)

Well, lets get back to the topic. Yea, why I scare being reject by people? I don't know lehhhhhhh...because i feel sucks when people reject me especially in LOVE. Yea, that's why I tell myself, I swear I won't let him know I like him as I scare I can't "survive" in this little Kampar anymore as too many people know him. I scare people will talk bad behind me. Although I know fall in love with somebody is a normal thing. But I just too SCARE to LOVE T__T Luckily I still not yet fall in love with him, just started to admire and wanted to know more about him. But you know la, he is cool ma!!! @_@|||  

T_____Tv peace~~~

Irene asked me to enjoy this moment. Yea, perhaps I don't have the chance to stay close with him anymore next time. 

By the way, I really hate it when guys advice me. Like itu kf lo. Because they are more rational, they would not think too much like girl does. When they talk, they just tell you the fact, won't try to console you. I dislike you kf. But, thank you! HAHAHA!!!

Now all I need to do is, close the lappy and go study for my final... ... ... ... HAHAHA. And stop think too much of course. 順其自然！勉強沒幸福的啊！

Random pic from last sem. HAHA, funny! Greece style.

Suddenly miss that moment. =)

Well, I love GREY very much. The background of my blog is grey color too. Friends do complain that why I like emo colors such as Dark Blue, Grey, Dark Red, Black. Haha. Just feel more comfortable with that kind of colors. I love the mysterious feeling from these colors ^^V But the fact is my school bag and bottle are all bright cute colors. xD Sometimes I will wear grey shirt, grey pants, grey slippers to go out. My cousin said: You always wear whole body same color de hor xD haha!!!

I Am Just A Normal Human Being

Long time do not update my blog. I can't believe that PR student life is that busy. Busy with event and coursework but mostly busy thinking stupiak stuffs in my mind T^T

I also hope that I can live happily without worrying, but, aiksss, my style la..Always worry like an ah po.
Being very straight forward recently as I think that it is not good to keep those bad things inside my heart. It is unfair to both side. For me, I will feel pek cek if I keep the thing in my heart. For others, they have the right to know what is in my mind. I found out that it is stupid when you keep everything inside your heart and make yourself suffer.

Finally I had letting go something which should be let go from long time ago. I am glad that I did it. I proved that time can heals everything. Yea, for you, I sincerely hope that time could heal your scar too. I know I am not a good listener or perhaps I am not the suitable one for you to blaaaa all your troubles, but I hope you have a happy life. Peace~~ ^^V 

Joined Utar Run last Sunday and you know what, I can't believe that I finished the 12km run without stopping. I believe that mental is really much more important than physical condition. I remember I almost cry when look at the hill after came out from westlake housing area. My feet got twisted and I forgot to cut the nails of my toe, so it affected my speed that day. But I just kept telling myself "cindy, you can do it, remember the people who support you, who love you, keep going" HAHA. I know it sounds funny, but believe me, it worked!

My friends said i fall in love recently. Ermm, do I? haha.. I not sure. I don't think so. I wanna let my heart rest for a while so I am not gonna let myself fall in love with any guy. My heart needs some rest. I don't want to have such gloomy days anymore. So, all I do recently are focus on my assignments and study for final.

Ahhh, final exam, my lover...I Love You, I hope you Love me too~~ I don't wanna repeat any subject. >_<

hmm, need to write too many things but the rest just let it stay in my heart la. 

To: people around me

I LOVE YOU!
THANKS FOR STAY BY MY SIDE WHEN I WAS DOWN!
*Hug Hug*

From: cindy

HaHa.

I'M TRYING

Tired with everything! Assignments, friends.........All........

Sometimes I don't get why those people will talk out that kind of words...

Is it your brain masuk air or what. You're 21 already la boss. Don't act like a KID (this isn't a compliment!!!)

Well, I bet if I treat you in the way you treated me, I am pretty SURE, GUARANTEE you will say f***!!
Yea, then why you do this to others??? Be considerate la dear boss.

All of us stressing because of a lot of things. But don't put your own emotion to others. 

You can just beh song but don't say shit words to others which is not related to the topic.

I don't wanna become baby sitter for you.

Through out all of this, I can surely figure it out who is true friend and who is not.
Yea, seriously, I won't say a single dirty word to my friends if I really treat them as FRIEND.

I won't categorize my friends like ohh, this gang is my normal friend, this gang is my best friend, this gang is my assignment partner only after thing done you go hell. Grow up, everybody has their own role, everybody is not perfect, that is why I appreciate all of you.

Yupz, all the people I know have same level in my heart.

I also need people to understand me, but I won't blame this blame that say nobody cares me as everybody got their own stuffs to busy. 

Can't find a single person to talk the thing inside my heart. Perhaps, I am the one who doesn't want to express it out. So, sometimes I just like to be quiet and try to peace up my mind.
I won't simply abandon someone unless it is a big matter that I can't forgive.

But, world has changed, people nowadays will only follow what is on trend.

People say f*** I say f*** lo, now naked is popular then I naked lo.

HAHA. Why, you don't have your own thought is it. All follow people.

People who doesn't have their own thought will easily affected by people.

Go where do what also follow people.

Without understand a real situation then judge this judge that like a pro judges.
Don't let your eyes tell you what is going on.

Let your mind and heart and mouth judge it.

You gotta be rational and considerate and ask if it is needed.

Everybody has their own problems, not only you. So, be mature and do thing like a boss, not become bastard like a boss.

The term "mature" doesn't mean you gotta be very serious and make that kind of serious face all the time.
For me, mature is you know what you need to do at when and where. 

Most important, speak the right word!

I don't care if you being childish and sing naninanipupu to me anytime, this doesn't mean you are childish but you got to know what you need to do and get your own stuffs done after you sing and not only talk useless thing anytime anywhere. I am sick of this. 

I think recently I will suddenly very quiet, don't feel like wanna talk at all. But quiet doesn't mean I am not happy.

I am just feeling tired. You can't expect people keep HAHAHA with you. People will get tired even though you are still feeling energetic. 

I have learned a lot this semester. 

People who say I LOVE YOU to you will leave you suddenly without saying a bye. 

People who you thought are FRIEND will actually treat you as an enemy in their heart and keep compare with you. *scary +___+* But it is ok, you let me know I am better than you. Thanks mate. ^^V

People who you love with your soul and heart will not give a damn at all. The person will even tell you he dreamed of other girls. ~!@#%& 

NEVERMIND, it is ok, you train me to become stronger. Thanks!

複雜

剛才去看了一些東西，看了後我才知道原來每次和朋友說的話在我身上用不到。
最近有個可愛的姐姐為情煩，我一直用很正經的手勢但搞笑的表情和她說: “我們女人愛一個人除了要【大方】，【體諒】，還要給他【空間】，要愛到有 class 的”

很諷刺的，剛剛看到的東西弄得我的心情從最近的 “特好” 忽然掉到谷里。
這樣形容一點都不誇張。
最近和朋友們一直三八，有他們的陪伴讓我好了很多。
但是之前一直都在懷疑的東西又再讓我看到，我握著拳頭淚不爭氣的掉下。
我當時的感受是氣憤，是悲傷，是不甘？！我也不知。或許通通都有。

朋友們，別再問我什麽事了。我不會說也不想說。或許有些朋友隱隱約約猜到了，但是別問我。真的。我好不容易放下的東西，我不想再抬起來，我也沒有力再去抬起來了。

【我一個人的失眠
一個人的空間
一個人的想念
兩個人的畫面
是誰的眼淚是誰的憔悴
灑滿地的心碎
我一個人的冒險
一個人的座位
一個人想著一個人
眼角的淚這不是錯覺】

我只想靜靜的！

我已做了的選擇，我不後悔。最近已經 upgrade 到流著淚也會笑的新招了。“想笑就笑，想哭就哭，想念就想念” 連續有兩個朋友和我說了這句話。對，自從我沒壓抑自己的思想后，心情好了很多。我相信明天會更好！

FRIEND

他，在我傷心時會陪在我身邊！

他，在我開心時會陪我大笑！

他，在我生氣時會逗我開心！

他，在我壓力時會安慰我！

他是第一個讓我這麼放心把心事說給他聽的男人。

他為朋友所付出的多過給於自己。

他就是個那麼“可愛”的男生，我稱他為 >>> 李公公 xDDD

我們在大約兩年多前認識，但在最近一年才開始熟起來。

之前半生不熟罷了。xDDD 像半生熟蛋一樣。哈哈！

我後來才發現，他真的很可愛！（我按著良心講的~）

這是之前的我們 xDDD

他看到我不高興時，會叫我出來，別悶在房間自己一個不開心。

而且他知道我不開心的原因永遠只有一個~~~ ~~~ =(

每次他只會說一句 “忘了他吧！你有我們！我們一直在你身邊的！”

你們看，你們看，一個大男人說這種話不可愛嗎？（可愛 *vomit*）^^V

我第一次去唱 K 時，那天心情剛好爛透了，

他在那裡看到我忽然不出聲就叫我，然後和另一個可愛的男生對我扮鬼臉。

哈哈，一個小動作，但我一直記得。

還有次三更半夜幫我抓蟑螂敲到頭破血流。

天啊，心痛死了，應該多敲幾下的 xDDD

哈哈！沒有啦，我真的覺得對不起你到差點哭出來了 T___T

第一次和他一起吃晚餐，他“陪”我一起吃素。

哈哈！可能他那天心血來潮想吃。

但我卻莫名的感動。

因為如果那個地方有葷和素，在我記憶中，沒一個朋友會和我一起吃素。

他是第一個。

除了我哥哥，他是第一個煮給我吃的人。

還特地煮了適合我吃的義大利面。

那個義大利面真的不錯啦，別再說煮的很難吃了。=)

他也是第一個除了我媽，會煮糖水給朋友的人。

雖然真的很甜~~~~ I'm anti sugar girl. Peace~~~ ^^V
哈哈！

他是第一個除了我哥和我一起合照的男人。

他的身高很長。xDDD

Masquerade Night 那天我穿了4寸高跟鞋的 T___T

稱讚他高，他叫我 "shao pei"。頂你的肺！ xD

他是典型的吃貨！

或許因為這樣所以他的願望是開家餐廳~

祝你成功~~~~！！！

看~他的臉大過碗~媽媽，我怕怕~

第一次要去看熱氣球但太熱了，氣球升不起 =(((

=)

還有很多很多就不寫了。只能說句  謝謝你！

好吧~最後送上一句你的經典話 >>> he sot sot dei de 

xDDDDDDDDDDD
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA 每次看到你打這句話出來我真的笑不停！！！

Random

huff~~~ well, I think this few weeks are really sucks. I plan to loss 6kg before my birthday in August, but ended up with got injured at my left knee. So, I got to stop exercise for almost 2 weeks. It was torturing & my baby Max was very boring!!! I messed up my plan. Now I just realised the only way I can forget a person is stop contacting with the person and find an activity which suit myself. I found mine which is exercise. But got to stop due to the injury. I found out that when I stop exercising, my life went back like last semester. Miss a person everyday, doing nothing, only MISS...macam orang gila!!! Sometimes I will talk to myself ask myself don't be so stupid. But I just can't get rid of this!!!

There are a lot of things inside my heart. I just don't know how to put it down. It is torturing when you put all the things inside your heart. Sometimes when people ask me how are you, the only thing I can answer is "Yes, I'm Damn Fine!!!" although I am not. T___T

I joined an event yesterday and saw a tall guy. Finally my target is a TALL guy... ...Well, why I purposely highlighted TALL?!! Because my ex and the boy I love all not taller than 170cm. >_<||| The boy I met last night I think he has 185cm above. When my friends know I got "sot" by him, almost all of them scold me and ask me don't be stupid~~~erkk, and they always say I have weird taste =(  WHY WHY WHY~~~Because he is a clubber & he is very "friendly" as long as you are a GIRL. =( sad case. Ermm, why I suddenly interested with him? Because he was standing behind me that night, I turned back then he made a "hi" sign and smile to me. OMG!!! My friend said I was lucky because he seldom smile but in fact I kept seeing his smile that night. HAHAHA. He was cute! =)

Sad case again, my heart already has an owner T___T So, even I am interested with that guy, I will not try to know him or keep in touch with him. My cousin and friends seem like more "high" than me. They kept asking me to find where is the guy just now when we were at hall for Talent Time Night 2013. I even received 2 messages from my cousin. The contents are >> "i saw ur XX at new town" "he sits at last 2nd row". HAHAHA. Ai yo, my cousin was so cute. Luckily the gang went out half way just now. Maybe go to club =( or else my cousin definitely will push me to him if she sees him >_<||| Thanks God!

Promise???

What does "promise" mean to all of u?
For me, it is just like a string connecting between both of us.

But once one side fail to do what has been promised, 
the string breaks and the connection breaks off.

When we were small, we used to write "friend forever", "love you forever".
As time goes by, we know sometimes "forever" is just a word unless you really manage your relationship well.

How many people can have a friendship or relationship which last forever?
I am personally admire those who can maintain their friendship or relationship for long time. Salute!
It is not an easy thing.
Human being changes every second. We are lover this second, next second I am cursing you.
Yea, this happen in every corner in the world. Sigh~

I remember you told me you will love me forever, but now you are gone.
I remember you said we are friend forever, but now you are gone.
I remember you said you will be by my side whenever I need you, but now you are gone.

Now all I have is just memory.
Recall back the past memory can be happy or grieved.
But we can't change anything.
What we can change is our heart but not theirs.
Sad!

I am still the girl who promise will always be by your side.
Be your friend.
But you are not the person who promise will be by my side anymore.
I don't know since when you are far away from me.

By the way, wish you have a bright future my dear friend.
You know right I am always me.
I may not be perfect for you but I am still the girl who promise you will be by your side forever.
I said it and I mean it.